Sitting at a new hipster coffee spot in Costa Mesa with shitty internet and typing this blog on Microsoft word so this may not be SFW. I drove for Uber on Halloween and got absolutely fucked. I wish I could tell you about how I picked up drunk Halloween people but the truth is I only drove during the day and I was too over it at night to deal with the drunks. Here’s what went down..
1:13pm – I buy a magic mount from Target and take a fucking selfie so that I can start driving
![](https://heatuptheice.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/uber-selfie.png?w=169)
1:30pm – Head down to Long Beach from Costa Mesa to pick up some things from my mom’s house
2:15pm – Pick up my shit, decide to head back to Costa Mesa and to “go online” and complete a few rides on my way home
2:30pm – Pick up my first Uber riders ever at Long Beach City College. It’s these two kids headed home deep into Long Beach. For some reason I’m clicking the huge button to start the ride and it’s not fucking working. I tell the kid this shit isn’t working and ask for the cross streets. That’s when I realize I’m supposed to fucking swipe right to start the ride. Not off to a hot start but I’m on my way, even if it’s the opposite direction I want to go. I drop the kids off and I’m officially an Uber driver now.
(damnit.. some girl at the table next to me is reading Jim Crow shit for what I’m assuming is law school and I’m writing a stupid fucking blog)
2:33pm – I get another ride like a mile from where I dropped off these kids and it’s this kid headed to work in Torrance. FUCK ME, it’s Thursday (Halloween) and traffic is going to be a nightmare coming back but I’m locked in now. He gets in and just goes straight to headphones so we cruise for about 30 minutes and I drop him off.
3:05pm – Call my girlfriend and tell her about my two Uber rides and that I’m headed back home…
(reflecting on the cashier at this coffee spot telling me “I hope it snows soon” because I’m wearing a beanie.. that is pretty fucked up. What if I had cancer? Or if I had some crazy fucking head injury that he doesn’t even know about? Not a fan of this fucking cashier.)
3:07pm – Pick up this girl from a church in Torrance and drop her off in Hermosa Beach (even further from home). She tips me $2 though because I listened to her talk about what her kids were dressing up for Halloween (A skunk and a rhino). She also talks about the air quality from the fires and makes me wish my parents were so thoughtful and let me stay home from school when there were fires.
3:08pm – Get a request from this dude in Hermosa a half a mile from where I dropped off the girl. He’s in a full rocketman suit and ready to fucking party. He tells me we’re headed to Venice Beach and he’s going to get FUCKED up tonight. I reply sickkkkk. This is probably the best ride of the day.. .as I’m driving down Hermosa’s main street next to the ocean I hit a yellow light and decide to shoot it. Only problem is there’s a car on the other side and he’s trying to turn left in front of me. He ends up just turning straight in front of me and I have to slam on the brakes. I tell the guy in my car sorry but instead he engages me with the best convo of the trip..
Him: “NAH FUCK THAT GUY.. R U FUCKING SERIOUS? IS THAT FUCKING GUY SERIOUS? AND THEN HE FUCKING PUTS HIS HAND UP AT US LIKE ITS OUR FAULT.. WTF?!”
Me: “Yeah dude.. I mean I was going to shoot it but he pulled straight in front of me”
Him: “DUDE I WOULD HAVE SHOT THAT 100%… FUCK THAT GUY.. WHAT A FUCKING GUY THAT GUY WAS”
Same team brother. I end up getting him dropped off around 3:40pm and now I’m basically in Venice Beach at the WORST fucking time.
3:40pm – Start heading back home to Costa Mesa and it says it’s going to take 2 hours and 30 fucking minutes. Wow… fuck my life. I sit on the 405 and get back to Long Beach around 6:15pm.
6:20pm – Decide to pick up someone when I exit to take PCH down to Costa Mesa and get a rider in front of the Baskin Robbins in the Traffic Circle. It’s this black lady who had just ate at Dickey’s BBQ. We end up engaging in conversation and she’s nice. Only problem, she’s going deep into Long Beach (Anaheim / Pacific) and taking me the opposite direction once more. We talk about all kinds of shit and when we arrive she tells me I’m nice and that’s she going to tip me. Yeah tips don’t lie, she definitely didn’t tip me but it’s okay I’m not bitter.
7:00pm – Get home and never want to drive Uber again even if I did make $46.72
![](https://heatuptheice.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/uber-summary.png?w=169)