Last night was insane…
First… Alex Bregman taking his bat all the way to first base to celebrate his homerun off Strasburg
Second.. Juan Soto saying “FUCK THAT I WANT TO BRING MY BAT TO FIRST BASE ALSO CUZ IT LOOKS FUN TOO”
I haven’t seen someone get shown up that much since the 3 Ninja’s spotted those thug bike stealers 9 points and played to 10..
Tonight should be LIT!!!
Two pitching LEGENDS that both give absolutely zero fucks about anything but winning… Two CY YOUNG winners battling for glory… Two WEIRD fucking guys ready to get after it… What more could you ask for?
Max Scherzer .. Getting all fired up and pissed off
vs.
Zack Greinke.. telling his teammates to wipe after they poop
I think I’m rooting for the Astros tonight because this is still one of my favorite hats of all time…
Yeah you read that headline right… this summer I was in Vegas for the World Series of Poker. My girlfriend came along for the ride and we had some friends also visiting that were going to a pool party on the 4th of July. We had both never been but decided to stop by for a couple hours just to say hi and hangout for a bit. I mean come on? Doesn’t this look HELLA FUN?
I should have just turned around when they wouldn’t let me wear my UCLA basketball jersey in.. but instead we rolled with the punches and paid the $50 cover to get in.
Our friends had bought a locker to put their wallets/shirts/etc. in and sent us the number/code so that we could put our stuff in it. I was playing poker the next day and decided to just sip on a drink while we were there. Here’s where SHIT gets interesting. We meet up with our friends and they’re pretty hammered. I’m talking to my one buddy and he’s talking his same ole SHIT about Damian Lillard being infinite times better than Russell Westbrook. But then a curveball, he asks if I want a drink. Do I want you to buy me a drink? At a Vegas Pool Party?? FUCK yes I want you to pay $30 for a Vodka Soda for me. I follow him to the lockers (located right next to the bar) and he pulls out his wallet.
We get up to the bar and he orders and starts to pay… but then I notice he has my girlfriend’s wallet and he’s paying with HER MONEY.
Me: “DUDE.. wtf that’s my girlfriends wallet”
Him: “OH SHIT DUDE.. IT WAS IN THE LOCKER THOUGH”
Me: “Yeah… cause she just put it there 10 minutes ago”
Him: “OH MY BAD DUDE”
WTF??! So he doesn’t have any money on him and now the bartender is waiting for him to pay… and I GET STUCK WITH THE FUCKING BILL. Is this some next level SHIT to get a free drink?? Or is he just an idiot n00b that can’t be trusted?
What’s the fucking play here if it happened to you?
Short Story..
I played little league baseball from age 4-12 and was a pretty good ballplayer until I hit my growth spurt at 13 and got unusually uncoordinated. The best part of those years was when my mom would let me play park ball during the offseason. Park ball was just the baseball league run by the city where anyone was allowed to play. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t catch, throw, or hit… you were allowed to play.
The mound was closer, the competition softer, and me, being a decent ballplayer, turned into the fucking Babe Ruth of park ball. Countless no hitters were thrown and homeruns were hit on my end.
ANYWAYS.. when I was 12 we had this kid on our team who had never played baseball and I’m not even sure if he knew the rules. He was soft too.. like the kind of kid who would cry to get out of riding the rollercoaster growing up. I felt bad for him and genuinely wanted him to gain some confidence and have fun playing. It’s the 2nd or 3rd practice of the season and the coach decides to have it at the batting cages. We’re in the 50 or 60’s cage and this kid steps in for his first time ever. I’ve never seen anything like it but the very first pitch just nails this kid (standing correctly in the batter’s box) in his leg. Obviously this kid quit on the spot and probably hates baseball for life, but that’s kind of how I think Juan Soto is feeling right now after this at bat and the Astros being up 3-2 with a chance to WIN THE FUCKING WORLD SERIES tonight.
Yeah Soto may have walked in that at bat… but he was SHOOK the rest of the game.
Astros in 6!
So apparenly this Kentucky kid shot his shot on Twitter and asked model London Olive to prom. She said she’d do it under two conditions..
Holy shit 500k retweets is an outrageous number.. but there are around 130 million people on Twitter and if my math is correct that’s like not even half of 1% of Twitter to get this kid his dream date (500,000 / 130,000,000)
Shit if Twitter was a thing back in 2004 I would have DEFINTELY been hitting up models to go to Prom with me. I mean.. I honestly crushed it with my prom date.. but I also strategically asked her right after she had her wisdom teeth out and had low self esteem because her cheeks were swollen.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn_lWQSAc0X/
But seriously?? Now all you have to do is make a ridiculous tweet and slide into the DM’s to get a super hot girl to go to Prom with you? That’s BULLSHIT. I invited Eric Karros to my birthday party at Aladdin’s Castle (Arcade) when I was 8 and had to handwrite a note, buy postage, and drop that shit in the mailbox. All I got back was one of those fake signed photos of him.
I know I’m getting older when I can barely remember who the smokeshow’s were in 2004 but you can guess I would have been all up in Carmen Electra and Jessica Simpson’s DMs and that they would have had a magical night at the Hyatt in Huntington Beach.
Wow… WTF was that? Saquon Barkley literally just answered the timeless question of whether to fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck.
Growing up in LA without the Raiders or Rams I never was fully invested in the NFL. That said, one of my favorite players growing up was Denver Bronco’s Hall of Famer Terrell Davis. Dude was a running back and his nickname was TD, that’s fucking awesome.
TD’s path to the NFL was anything but easy and is kind of a crazy story. TD went to Long Beach State and REDSHIRTED his freshman year in 1990. He plays the next year and rushes for 262 yards on 55 carries, then Long Beach State cuts their entire football program and TD transfers to the University of Georgia and backs up Garrison Hearst. Anyways, despite being injured quite a bit he performs well at Georgia and ends up getting drafted in the 6th round of the NFL draft by Mike Shanahan and the Denver Broncos.
Okay, here’s the best FUCKING part. He’s slated as their 6th string tailback at the start of preseason camp. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, SIX.. HOLY SHIT (I was 2nd string to Mike Carp at first base in high school and saw NO playing time)… Davis has 5 fucking running backs in front of him. The staff barely knows who he is until he pulls off this absolutely SAVAGE hit in the 2nd game of preseason.
TD then parlays that hit into frog leaping every running back and becoming the starting RB that year. I don’t even know the odds of that happening but it feels like it might be tougher to have a perfect NCAA bracket going into the elite 8. Anyways, Happy Fucking Birthday TD.. you deserve it.
Game 6 of the World Series was a blowout last night. Astros 7 Nats 1. Just pure filth last night from Cole.
The real action was in the stands though.
I’ll just briefly touch the boobs here…
It ended up being some Instagram model named Julia Rose guilty of the flashing and she has been banned from all MLB games moving forward.
As for Bud Light I’m not sure how this one slipped under the radar. Some Nationals fan double fisting two Bud Lights managed to take a homerun from Yordan Alvarez off his chest Happy Gilmore style.
Best part is he said it didn’t even hurt because it came from an Astros batter.
Let’s get a THUG LIFE meme created of this guy and Bud Light for LIFE now please.
Fun fact… Andrew Bynum will go down as the youngest player ever to play in the NBA (18 years 6 days) and it’s also his birthday today.
I remember being high up as a Laker’s fan that Bynum would be the next Shaq and that order would be restored in Laker Land when they drafted him 10th overall in the 2005 NBA Draft. Instead, he left us with one decent highlight:
& a blueprint for what NOT to ask for at Supercuts.
Okay… if you dress up as the joker for Halloween I DEFINITELY don’t like you. My friends and I went out to Ballast Point in Long Beach last night for a birthday party and saw a lot of people dressed in Halloween costumes. So many dressed like this fucking guy below.
SERIOUSLY? One of the best holidays of the year and you’re going to dress like the that? It’s just NOT ORIGINAL at all. I know I could never be friends with someone who spends this much time on makeup with the delusion they’re going to meet a lady and bring her back to their place…
Joker’s Brain
Joker: Hey, can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Wow, yes.. you look so amazing
Joker: Thanks, it took me 3 hours to do my face but I think it’s spot on
Girl: Maybe we can head back to your place and I can help you take it off..
REALITY
Joker: Hey, can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Get the fuck away from me
Let’s leave dressing up as the joker to the fucking professionals is all I’m saying.
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